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summer in the city

May. 8th, 2007 | 08:49 pm
location: spare room
mood: calmcalm
music: American Idol

Finally. I'm done. Home for the summer. Shitty grades, but I don't care. Done.

And in high hopes, for once. I am going in for my second interview at WalMart tomorrow for the photo lab. Quite excited. I hope I get this job. Not ideal, but way better than the KaK. Hopefully this summer will turn out better than the last.

Life has been kind of hectic lately. The stress of school hasn't been helping at all, but at least with myself out, maybe life can get a little better. Just lots of loss and sadness going around. Thus is life...

Not feeling very thoughtful at the moment. Blame American Idol.

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I am living

Apr. 30th, 2007 | 09:28 am

All that I wanted to do was talk. That was my only agenda. A deep, meaningful talk. About my thoughts, and hopefully the others thoughts too. But it turned into somehting bad. I hate that. I want to be able to share things, meaningful things, blatherings from my brain... but I can't do that without something bad happening.

When did this get to be the case? Was it always like this, and I just never knew? Do I want it like this? I don't. I don't want it like this. Not at all.

And now I don't want to think anymore.

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real post?

Apr. 19th, 2007 | 11:58 pm
mood: sleepysleepy
music: Cheek to Cheek-- TSL

I haven't posted for real in quite some time. I've been so busy with the last month of school and everything culminating in these last final weeks. I'm getting throught it, though. At least in my eyes, life has been okay. I know people around me wouldn't agree, and I feel bad that they're experiences have led them that direction. For once, though, my life is okay and I love it.

Noteworthy news?

We got a dog. His name is Shaggy. He is a 5 year old dachshund. He's probably the sweetest thing in the whole world. We love him. The cats are unsure, though Willow is doing very well with him and Nemo is on his way. He's a good addition to the family.

I'm up to four bettas now: Ferret, Hamlet (the delta tail), Lamp, and the newcommer: Animal (my GORGEOUS crowntail). I love them. Lamp and Animal eat food off my finger. They jump out to get it. I'm only slightly obsessed.

We got into the apartments next year. Christa, Christine, Ariana and myself will be living in Portka 310. I can't wait.

Going to see the lovely John Mayer this Saturday. Seventh row. SEVEN SEATS AWAY FROM MR. MAYER HIMSELF! I'm only a little excited, I swear.

This semester has been very very tough, but I'm getting through. It may not be with the GPA I wanted, but in 2 weeks I will be D O N E.

I need sleep.

I just want to send out my deepest sympathy for all those involved in the VA Tech Massacre. I am so very sorry that you all had to deal with the horrendous act that you did. My prayers go out to you all.

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Hide and Seek

Apr. 19th, 2007 | 01:55 pm
location: Phys room
mood: calmcalm
music: Imogen Heap -- Hide and Seak

Is probably the greatest song in the entirety of the world.

I wish I was more musically inclined than I am... stupid talent.

Oh Imogen Heap, you make me jealous.

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Apr. 5th, 2007 | 11:39 pm

I swear that I am still here... sometimes I am not.

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The Sound of Silence

Mar. 7th, 2007 | 07:22 pm
location: dorm
mood: calmcalm
music: ice cream being shaken

Have you ever had such a profound experience of silence? Silence to the point that it is almost deafening. Silence so loud that you want to plug your ears and scream just to end the noise filling your ears?

Silence is a weird thing. We pray so much for the nothingness yet when it comes it drives us insane. There is a difference between quiet--you can still hear the background noises, they just are not enough to make you care--and pure, utter, silence.

Silence is the loudest noise I have ever heard. Silence is frightning and peaceful both at the same time.

I know what Simon and Garfunkle were talking about now with the sound of silence. I never noticed the sound before now. But there is a sound. Silence...

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the angel on my right

Mar. 7th, 2007 | 09:49 am
location: Gac Lab
mood: anxiousanxious
music: Animals--Nickelback

Animals by Nickelback is being played in the computer lab. I miss my boyfriend...

Check out Vox, guys. It's this super cool media friendly blogging site. Easy posting of pictures, videos, audio, books, etc. It's fun! I love it. You may be seeing less of me here and more of me there. Http://www.vox.com.

It's hard to steer when I got both hands on the wheel and you got both hands on my gear


Also, today is a good day. And I may be going home tomorrow. Things are looking up (finally). I'm happy.

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is this really here?

Mar. 6th, 2007 | 08:56 am
location: room
mood: blahblah

There are moments in my life, randomly, where I feel as if everything around me is a dream. Everything is fake and surreal and I cannot discern reality from any of the beings around me. It's not like everything is going grand and I can't believe it, or even the opposite--that everything is shit. No, everything just is and I'm struggling to find reality in this average everydayness. Is this normal? I think no. Something is wrong. Or something/one is telling me something is wrong.

I'm still sick. Something is wrong. I just don't know what.

Maybe I'll find it in my dream world today.

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a real update

Mar. 5th, 2007 | 10:04 am
location: Gac lab
mood: nervousnervous
music: tap tap

I haven't had a real update in quite some time. Life has been crazy and making me crazy along with it. There are so many things that have been going on, none of which I can really dive into on a public journal. Oh well.

Everytime I keep one of these things, I swear to myself that this cryptic form of writing will cease and I will be able to blab about what is going on in my life. Maybe I just shouldn't make that claim because everytime I do something happens that keeps me from being non-cryptic.

None of this makes sense, not even to me. What else is new.

On a more uplifting note, at least in my book. I have added the third and final fish to the collection. That makes Ferret the most beautiful veil tail, Hamlet who is my gorgeous delta tail, and Lamp who is my not so bright second choice fish veil tail.

Lamp is pretty much the funniest name for a fish.

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Mar. 5th, 2007 | 08:20 am

Morning seven of waking up sick to my stomach.


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